What Katy Writes

Things have been hard.  I'm not one of those people who sugar coat things and make my life out to be perfect when I'm struggling.  So many people struggle and do so in silence - creating their perfect life on social media, only showing the good times.  I hate that.  I have had several people contact me asking for advice and help because they have seen how open I am about issues such as mental health, how hard parenting really is and that it's OK not to be OK.  Why is this so rare?  I know that I am an open person.  I don't shy away from talking about my anxiety, my struggle with postnatal depression, my pure exhaustion and frustration at having a beautiful baby boy who just hates to sleep.  Why is it that these things are still seen as taboo, as something almost made up - I should just toughen up and get over it.  "Is he a good baby?" - what exactly does that question mean?  Is that solely related to sleep?  He's eight m...

Six months.  I can't believe our baby boy has been with us for half a year.  Every day he is learning new things, making us laugh, (sometimes making us want to pull our hair out), teaching us to be patient, teaching us to take things more slowly, to enjoy every minute because he really is growing so fast.  This post will not only be about Isaac's growth and development but also mine.  These last six months have been so challenging, so beautiful, so life-changing - I don't want to forget the transformation I have been going through as well.  If you have read my previous two posts, you would know that we got off to a rough start.  Postnatal depression and anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks and is something I am still fighting to recover from every day.  Especially my anxiety.  I still see my psychiatrist on a regular basis, am now seeing a psychologist as well as getting lots of support from my child health nurse and ...

I have been avoiding writing this post.  Talking about what I went through (and am still going through although not as severe) is something I still find incredibly painful.  The first nine weeks of Isaac's life were the best and worst of mine.  I feel like I need to take the time here to briefly talk about the Mother Baby Unit and the incredibly supportive, wonderful, beautiful nurses and midwives who work there.  These women saw me at my absolute lowest.  They were perfect strangers who came to feel like family.  They talked me through so many panic attacks, cared for my son when I was unable to, made me laugh, talked me through everything I was feeling, never judged me, never made me feel like a bad mother - quite the opposite.  I quite literally couldn't have gotten through those weeks without them.  I will owe them for the rest of my life and Isaac has the privilege of having a lot of extra "Aunties...

Before I start this post, the post about our son’s birth story and first weeks of life (warning - it’s going to be a long one) I want to once again point out how important it is to seek help and speak out about mental health issues.  If you can hang on and read it to the end (and most people reading this probably already know) you will discover that I am suffering from postnatal depression and anxiety.  This does not mean that I do not/did not love my beautiful boy.  It may come across that way in this post, purely because I believe in being honest and open about how I feel and what I went through and what I am currently going through.  I have come to accept that this diagnosis does not make me a bad mother or a bad person, it is simply something that went very wrong in my brain and I need help.  Please, please, please – if you are struggling with this or any other mental health issue, even if you’re not sure but just feel that something isn’t qui...

It's the final countdown! I can't believe how fast time has gone, today I am 38 weeks pregnant - technically Baby Bear could be with us any day now! The third trimester is shaping up to be everything I've heard and more.  Rough.  Worth it, but way harder than I was anticipating.  I worked until I was almost 37 weeks pregnant - I figured because I have a desk job that I would be fine to work even longer than that really, but honestly, it was difficult!  Baby Bear crowding my lungs, kicking my ribs - are just a couple of things that made it very tricky to lean forward to even type properly.  Not to mention the insane fluid retention I developed in those last few weeks.  I swear my ankles ended up being the same size as my thighs!  Reid found it quite amusing, I found it all pretty exhausting, not to mention the difficulty sleeping (I know, I know, I have no idea what sleep deprivation is yet :) but those last couple of w...

I haven't had a chance to do an update for a while, so this might be a bit of a ramble! The third trimester has been much more challenging than I was expecting to be honest, weeks 28 - 30 were fine, but Baby Bear has done a LOT of growing (which is great obviously) but wow, it is certainly hard on your body!  I have had some pretty severe back pain (mostly in the lower right side) and things you take for granted, like, getting off the couch and rolling over in bed become a bit of a mammoth effort!  All worth it though, as Reid and I lie in bed each night and watch my stomach jolt around as our baby wriggles and kicks - it is so amazing and he will be here so soon! I had my gestational diabetes check just before week 28 - definitely not the most pleasant experience, sitting around for 3 hours, not allowed to eat and then drinking an incredibly sweet drink (kind of like a super-sweet, flat lemonade) while having your blood taken a few times.  My results were all ...