Will it ever leave? This nagging feeling that I am a bad mother. That I am a bad person. That PND will always be with me. My cross to bear. My load to carry forever. I know that I love Isaac with all my heart and soul, but will it ever be enough? Will it ever make up for the fact I didn't want to exist in those early days? That sometimes, I still miss my old life. Isaac has been so unwell on and off for the last few months, the last ten days were Isaac's first experience of gastro. I have held him and cleaned so much vomit, lost count of how many times I changed the sheets on his cot, washed a million loads of towels, barely slept, changed a million nappies (let's just say things were rarely contained to the nappy...). I have worried myself sick, desperate to know what I'm doing, to feel confident in my abilities to make him feel better, to make him feel like I have things under control. Things are so, not unde...
The diary (ramblings) of an anxious Mum.