What Katy Writes

It's customary to reflect on the year you have had when December 31st rolls around.  It's also customary for lots of people to make resolutions for the new year.  I'm not a fan of resolutions.  I usually make a couple in my head but never really commit, never really believe that they will happen.  This year I've decided that I will focus on intent; intentionally living, intentionally trying to better myself physically and emotionally.  Not focussing on words that I can so easily turn into negatives (because hello, that's kind of my thing). Reflections: 2017 was a hard but beautiful year.  I don't think I have ever grown so much, fought so much, loved so much.  At the end of 2016, I could barely walk to the end of my driveway or be in my backyard without having a panic attack.  In the last few days alone we have been to the beach, the park, and a vineyard with friends.  Not to mention the copious amounts of time Isaac and I now spend ...

 I haven't written for a while. Things have been... hard. I don't like to be negative, I feel like my last few posts have a positive vibe, I felt like I was finally starting to have a positive vibe. I forgot about the journey.  I forgot that things can change really quickly.  I forgot that there is no such things as a straight, upwards line when it comes to recovery.  I forgot how it felt to have that panic grabbing me, I forgot how fast that lump could come back to my throat, how my stomach could so easily twist into knots and I could dread facing the day. I can't believe I forgot. Unfortunately, over the last few weeks - I have been reminded. I can't really pinpoint when it started.  I was feeling good, I was coping well, I was smiling.  All of a sudden, I started crying a lot.  I started losing my patience must faster than usual.  I felt sick.  I didn't want to get up and spend a day at home trying to keep Isa...

DOING: Sitting on the couch in the rumpus room with Reid, typing this post while he plays his Xbox and Isaac naps. HEARING: "Best of Us Go Down" by Aquilo.  I've been really enjoying this band and they regularly pop up in my weekly recommended playlists on iTunes. DRINKING: I just finished drinking an iced coffee.  I have such a weakness for them and try to limit them to only once a week, because: sugar.  It was so good though.  Otherwise I have been having my usual drinks - lots of coffee, lots of water with lemon and the odd green tea. EATING AND COOKING: I have been getting right back into my roasted vegetable obsession.  Roasting up big trays of sweet potato and broccoli every week.  Isaac is loving frittatas, so I have been making those with chopped sweet potato, broccoli, carrot and corn. He seems to be coming out of his brief fussy stage and is back to eating pretty much everything again which is a huge relief for me. I have been ver...

I've spent most of my time on this blog of late, talking about parenting.  I feel like it's just inevitable that when you become a parent, it mostly consumes you.  You can lose your sense of self for a while, and although I definitely think some of that has come back to me - I still spend most of my time thinking about what kind of Mum I'm trying to be; what kind of Mum I want to be. I thought I would take this opportunity to talk about my own Mum.  It was her 62nd birthday yesterday.  Reid and I had our family over to our place for the afternoon with a few of Mum's favourite foods (cheesecake, good cheese and biscuits {she really loves cheese}, coconut cake and coffee/herbal tea).  Birthdays are a time to be truly grateful for someone and show them love and appreciation.  I try to do this as often as I can with my Mum, because she really is amazing and I would be lost without her; but on her birthday, I sat watching her flit from person to person, ...

I was talking to a close friend earlier in the week (credit for this post idea goes to you, Mim!) and she asked me about my experience with mental health professionals - strategies I found helpful, how the whole idea of therapy works - quite a lot of questions really, and I found I couldn't quite articulate answers properly at the time, so she suggested that I do a post about it.  This has made me really think about things that have and haven't worked for me - and maybe pass on little tips that could help others (although I am by no means a professional!) - these are merely my opinions.  This post is focussing purely on the psychologists I have dealt with.  {Sorry in advance about the weird formatting of this post (and some previous posts haha), I always seem to stuff it up and don't have to patience to try to fix it!).   I have been seeing mental health professionals on and off for the last eight years....

Hearing: The playlist iTunes picks for me every week - "My Chill Mix" - at the minute, the song "Sweethearts" by Foy Vance is playing.  I'm liking it. Drinking: I have been indulging in the occasional wine over the last month or so.  I haven't really drunk a lot of alcohol since Isaac was born (or while I was pregnant, obviously); but I have been starting to enjoy a glass here and there.  I am also drinking lots of coffee as always, and water with lemon. Green tea with lemon slices has also been making a regular appearance. Eating & Cooking: I have been making quite a few curries of late. Korma is my favourite at the minute.  I haven't been as good with meal-prepping for my lunches, but have found these "wellness bowls" at the supermarket that I bought quite a few of when they were on special and they have been a healthy, easy alternative. It's become a bit of a tradition to make banana pikelets every weekend (just mashed ba...

It has been a really big couple of weeks.  I have been back at work for two months already; I have exceeded my expectations with it so much which makes me incredibly happy and proud, but I feel like I have sort of been in a "honeymoon period" with it and I have been running on mostly adrenaline (and coffee... always coffee), but this last week I have found myself feeling a bit overwhelmed and run-down... I honestly don't really know where to start.  This last week in particular has felt both challenging and rewarding for one big reason - I was officially discharged as a patient from my psychiatrist last Thursday.  I first saw him when I was admitted to the Mother Baby Unit, sitting on a couch, sobbing my heart out, holding tiny Isaac in my arms before practically begging my sister to take him from me.  From that minute, we have worked together to get me to where I am today.  A grateful Mum, a working Mum, an anxious Mum ~ but a (mostly)...