What Katy Writes

My blog has been so neglected of late, as usual, life has been hectic! It is currently 18th December, a fact that I am struggling to come to terms with as it feels like I was only celebrating the New Year yesterday! I always try to make time to reflect on "the year that was", probably because I am a perfectionist and I like to grade myself on how my expectations actually panned out.  Normally, I fail miserably.  2014 has been around the B+ mark, so I guess that's not too bad! 2014 began with a resolution to be more positive.  A resolution to be healthier.  A resolution to be grateful.  I think I did succeed on all three accounts, although being healthier while taking my medication has really stuffed me around both mentally and physically.  No matter what I do, I feel frumpy.  I am currently weaning off my medication though, so am hoping I go better with this than the last time I tried (see previous post). One of the biggest things that...

I have been taking medication to help with anxiety for close to two years now.  It took a bit of tweaking, but I finally take something that a) helps my mind to process things at a normal pace, b) helps me to not panic for the majority of the day, c) helps me to not feel sick constantly and d) it helps me SLEEP. I had been feeling pretty good for the last few months.  Lots of things have been happening, big decisions have been made and I felt that I was on top of things.  I went to see my doctor, discussed my current mental health state and explained how much the delightful side effect of weight gain had been affecting me in a negative way, not only physically, but emotionally and mentally as well.  With this in mind, I let my vanity take over.  I decided to try to wean off my medication. I have one word for this experience at this point in my life: Disaster. Things seemed to be going OK for the first couple of weeks.  I started to just take...

I have written about change quite a lot.  Not only here, but in most of my diaries that I have kept since I first learned how to write.  I have said that I know how positive change can be.  I have said how much I fear it sometimes.  I have said how much I dread it at times and how much I look forward to it at other times.  It's unpredictable grasp on life is something that will funnily enough, always be constant.   The saying about following your head or your heart is something I have struggled with over the past few years.  I fought and fought against studying teaching even though my heart pulled me so strongly in that direction and has for so many years.  I have given in to that particular pull and started officially studying my Master of Teaching two weeks ago.  So far, I'm really loving it.  As I listen to the lectures and do the readings all I can think about it myself one day standing in front of a class full of students.  S...

It's strange how things can be so great but so not-great at the same time.  Right now I feel I'm caught between two worlds.  One full of happy, exciting things and one full of exhaustion and fear.  A lot has happened in the last few weeks.  We finally became the owners of our block of land that we had been waiting for, for nine months.  We have an official start date for our house to be built and we should be in our home by Christmas.  I have enrolled in my Uni subjects for this year and have bought most of the necessary things to make studying a success.  At the same time as being incredibly excited for these things, I am feeling really overwhelmed.  Work has been so busy and that constant pressure really takes its toll on me.  Reid has to start working weekends again which upsets me more than I can put into words, although I know it's not the end of the world (although to me, it feels like it) and I already miss him like crazy....

I did it!  I applied to Uni, got in, accepted my offer, enrolled in my subjects, applied for HECS (loan from the government to cover my fees that I will pay back) and I am good to start studying my Master of Teaching in July this year. Such a huge, huge leap for me.  If you've read any of my other posts, you'll know that I am not a big fan of change.  I know that nine times out of ten, change can be a really positive thing, its just the thought more than anything that scares me and puts me off making radical decisions about my life.  I have dreamed of being a teacher for as long as I can remember, but I have been putting it off for almost three years now, as I believed there was a certain waay I had to do it, a certain way to make it work, a certain plan to have in place.  All of that is true to an extent, but as I think about my main aims in life, it really is simple: It will all be OK.   I get so caught up in worst case scenarios that I forget ...

I quite like the term “soul searching”.   I feel like it’s a really good description for what I’ve been doing over the past few months.   I have been feeling restless and unhappy - mostly just because of the frustrating aspects of my job, but I have found that this has been leaking into all facets of my life which has made me a bit unbearable lately.    A while ago I wrote a post about wanting to be a teacher.   I was so sure at that point, that it was what I was going to do this year:   go back to Uni, study and then teach.   But… I got scared.   Really scared.   The thought of being so limited financially really took over and here I am, still working full time, still unhappy.    Reid and I have discussed this at length and I have finally decided that I just need to leap. Next year, I am going to study teaching.   It is going to be tough, but I can’t keep being stuck in a place where I’m unhappy, stressed and ultimately ...

First post for 2014 and it's already March!  As usual time has been flying by, I'm still trying to maintain positivity and mindfulness although have been finding it fairly difficult of late. I've spoken about body issues a fair bit, so I'm sorry to be repetitive, but that's what has been occupying my mind a lot over the last couple of months.  Six weeks ago, I signed up for the Michelle Bridges 12WBT ( www.12wbt.com.au ).  I was so excited about this at first, figuring this would be the kick start to really change my habits and my mindsets.  Six weeks in, I am feeling pretty torn about the whole thing.  On the one hand, I do think it is an excellent program, full of lovely, healthy recipes, full of differing exercises and online videos and forums.  I joined the women's weight loss program, which limits me to 1200 calories a day, and for my height/weight Michelle (or Mish, as I totally call her now, we are definitely friends and she totally cares ab...