DOING: Writing this while Reid and Isaac play outside - digging with trucks, of course.
HEARING: The broom as Reid sweeps up excess sand and dirt from the concrete that Isaac loves to make into "rubbish dumps". Reid doesn't cope overly well with our son's favourite pastime at the minute haha. Our backyard is basically full of random holes in dirt patches and random piles of dirt and sand on the cement/pavers.
DRINKING: Right now, a peppermint tea. Regularly: coffee, water, Kirk's no sugar lemonade (I know, I know, death in a can, artificial sweetener etc) and Sauvignon Blanc. Loving kombucha too.
LOOKING: Forward to next April. We are going to Singapore! That's right, you read correctly. I, Katy Paul, anxious traveller x infinity, is going to Singapore with Reid and Isaac for Easter next year. We are going to meet my sister, brother-in-law and niece there and they have been there heaps of times which eases my anxiety a lot. There is amazing things for kids to do there and we are staying at Marina Bay Sands (we are going all out this time!) and we are all soo excited. I am of course worried about the flights/airports/customs situation, but my brain has suddenly let me start thinking about this idea known as perspective. Like... even if it's difficult, it's only 12 hours out of our life - and I know there will be hiccups, I know travelling with a 4 year old won't be easy - but I also know it will be amazing and such a great experience for us all. Who am I?? A person who is very well medicated and committed to consistent psychological therapy, that's who! Haha.
DECIDING: What to get Isaac for Christmas. As usual I really don't want to go overboard but it's hard! We are thinking a trampoline at this stage - that kid has energy to BURN and he loves his cousins' trampoline.
ENJOYING: Spring so far. These warmer and longer days make life with an active toddler so much more pleasant. Being outside makes us all happier. I can't wait for summer beach days, I have just had two weeks leave approved over Christmas and I just love that time of year.
EATING & COOKING: As the weather is warming up I've been getting back into smoothies. Frozen strawberry and watermelon with Happy Way protein powder is my current favourite. Meals have been fairly boring of late to be honest. I feel like my answers to this prompt are generally always the same! My parents come for dinner every Wednesday night and my Mum loves Bolognese so I tend to cook that every fortnight and then on the alternate week I'll do a slow cooked dish with vegetables or a stir fry. My go-to snacks have been Ryvitas with avocado, pepper and lemon juice at work and at home Isaac's favourite thing is a "snack plate" where I will cut up things like strawberries, grapes, carrot, mini cucumber slices and cheese and assemble it all for him to eat (what a diva haha). Honestly I love making those little plates for him and he is always so excited to see what's going to be on there.
WATCHING: When I have the time I've been watching season three of Thirteen Reasons Why which is SO good. Reid and I just finished Season two of Mindhunter which was brilliant and now we have started the last season of Orange is the New Black but that is just not as good as it used to be, but feels like something we need to finish.
READING: I have been making plenty of time for reading lately and it feels so good. Whenever Isaac has any screen time I flip open a book and make that thirty minutes or so time for me as well. I am currently reading Eggshell Skull by Bri Lee which is confronting, mind-opening, educational stuff. I finished Everything is F***ed by Mark Manson last week which was also good but not as good as his first book I didn't think (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***). I also recently finished The Poeople in the Trees by Hanya Yanighara which was so clever, disturbing and well-written although it is nowhere near as good as A Little Life. I still think about that book all the time. I will re-read it one day, when my heart can take it.
BUYING: Last month we had a heap of big bills come up plus it was Reid's birthday and Father's Day in the same week so we are trying to get back on the savings train now. I used to be so good at saving and now it seems like a constant struggle. We are making some headway but lots of what we have at the minute will be going towards our Singapore trip and birthday presents for family that are coming up and then it will be Christmas!
PLANNING: We have a very thorough checklist we are gradually working through (thanks to my very organised brother-in-law) for the Singapore trip. I am also making my own list of things to take on the plane to help keep Isaac occupied and all that kind of stuff.
PLAYING: With dirt and trucks and mud. With balloons and bubbles inside. Hide and Seek. Chasings. Race cars. The piano. My very own piano from the 1890s that was so very kindly given to me from some close family friends. I had it tuned and refurbished inside, and while it's not perfect sound-wise (it is 130 years old after all!) it is so wonderful being able to play whenever I want and remembering what it feels like to play regularly.
CRAVING: Chocolate. Coffee. Wine. The usual.
SAVOURING: My answer to this is generally always the same as well. Isaac's current age and stage. There are really hard things about every age so far but also the good things seem to get even better. Being loved so fiercely by a three year old feels so special. Being his safe place is the biggest honour. He tells me he loves me so many times a day and after childcare he always says "I missed you today Mummy" and that loving side of his personality is just so beautiful to witness and watch develop.
LOVING: The fact that I am able to recognise the hard work I am putting into self improvement and on fighting my mental health issues. I'm refusing to just accept things these days and am trying so hard to be a better person every day. I make mistakes all the time but I've never had this level of self awareness before. I'm really trying to tune into my values and live according to them, not in ways that I think other people want me to. It's hard, but it's worth it.
FEELING: SO much. Every single day I am overwhelmed by the depth of my own feelings. Being an empath is exhausting and rewarding. I have started journaling again which helps me not to feel so overwhelmed all the time. I have this constant sense of purpose that I am meant to be fulfilling but the reality of that purpose is just always out of reach, and tuning into myself enough to really figure it out is hard. I am feeling so grateful that I am making time for things I love on a regular basis. Reading, writing, playing the piano, going to the gym - it's things like that, that tend to get lost in our busy society. I am refusing to sacrifice these things anymore though, I deserve to do them, I deserve time to myself, I deserve to feel looked after by myself. I feel more mentally healthy than I have in years, and I know that means I need to distance myself from certain people and situations; and finally, I feel like I'm gaining the strength and perspective to honour that knowledge.
Happenings posts inspired by Heidi
HEARING: The broom as Reid sweeps up excess sand and dirt from the concrete that Isaac loves to make into "rubbish dumps". Reid doesn't cope overly well with our son's favourite pastime at the minute haha. Our backyard is basically full of random holes in dirt patches and random piles of dirt and sand on the cement/pavers.
DRINKING: Right now, a peppermint tea. Regularly: coffee, water, Kirk's no sugar lemonade (I know, I know, death in a can, artificial sweetener etc) and Sauvignon Blanc. Loving kombucha too.
LOOKING: Forward to next April. We are going to Singapore! That's right, you read correctly. I, Katy Paul, anxious traveller x infinity, is going to Singapore with Reid and Isaac for Easter next year. We are going to meet my sister, brother-in-law and niece there and they have been there heaps of times which eases my anxiety a lot. There is amazing things for kids to do there and we are staying at Marina Bay Sands (we are going all out this time!) and we are all soo excited. I am of course worried about the flights/airports/customs situation, but my brain has suddenly let me start thinking about this idea known as perspective. Like... even if it's difficult, it's only 12 hours out of our life - and I know there will be hiccups, I know travelling with a 4 year old won't be easy - but I also know it will be amazing and such a great experience for us all. Who am I?? A person who is very well medicated and committed to consistent psychological therapy, that's who! Haha.
DECIDING: What to get Isaac for Christmas. As usual I really don't want to go overboard but it's hard! We are thinking a trampoline at this stage - that kid has energy to BURN and he loves his cousins' trampoline.
ENJOYING: Spring so far. These warmer and longer days make life with an active toddler so much more pleasant. Being outside makes us all happier. I can't wait for summer beach days, I have just had two weeks leave approved over Christmas and I just love that time of year.
EATING & COOKING: As the weather is warming up I've been getting back into smoothies. Frozen strawberry and watermelon with Happy Way protein powder is my current favourite. Meals have been fairly boring of late to be honest. I feel like my answers to this prompt are generally always the same! My parents come for dinner every Wednesday night and my Mum loves Bolognese so I tend to cook that every fortnight and then on the alternate week I'll do a slow cooked dish with vegetables or a stir fry. My go-to snacks have been Ryvitas with avocado, pepper and lemon juice at work and at home Isaac's favourite thing is a "snack plate" where I will cut up things like strawberries, grapes, carrot, mini cucumber slices and cheese and assemble it all for him to eat (what a diva haha). Honestly I love making those little plates for him and he is always so excited to see what's going to be on there.
WATCHING: When I have the time I've been watching season three of Thirteen Reasons Why which is SO good. Reid and I just finished Season two of Mindhunter which was brilliant and now we have started the last season of Orange is the New Black but that is just not as good as it used to be, but feels like something we need to finish.
READING: I have been making plenty of time for reading lately and it feels so good. Whenever Isaac has any screen time I flip open a book and make that thirty minutes or so time for me as well. I am currently reading Eggshell Skull by Bri Lee which is confronting, mind-opening, educational stuff. I finished Everything is F***ed by Mark Manson last week which was also good but not as good as his first book I didn't think (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***). I also recently finished The Poeople in the Trees by Hanya Yanighara which was so clever, disturbing and well-written although it is nowhere near as good as A Little Life. I still think about that book all the time. I will re-read it one day, when my heart can take it.
BUYING: Last month we had a heap of big bills come up plus it was Reid's birthday and Father's Day in the same week so we are trying to get back on the savings train now. I used to be so good at saving and now it seems like a constant struggle. We are making some headway but lots of what we have at the minute will be going towards our Singapore trip and birthday presents for family that are coming up and then it will be Christmas!
PLANNING: We have a very thorough checklist we are gradually working through (thanks to my very organised brother-in-law) for the Singapore trip. I am also making my own list of things to take on the plane to help keep Isaac occupied and all that kind of stuff.
PLAYING: With dirt and trucks and mud. With balloons and bubbles inside. Hide and Seek. Chasings. Race cars. The piano. My very own piano from the 1890s that was so very kindly given to me from some close family friends. I had it tuned and refurbished inside, and while it's not perfect sound-wise (it is 130 years old after all!) it is so wonderful being able to play whenever I want and remembering what it feels like to play regularly.
CRAVING: Chocolate. Coffee. Wine. The usual.
SAVOURING: My answer to this is generally always the same as well. Isaac's current age and stage. There are really hard things about every age so far but also the good things seem to get even better. Being loved so fiercely by a three year old feels so special. Being his safe place is the biggest honour. He tells me he loves me so many times a day and after childcare he always says "I missed you today Mummy" and that loving side of his personality is just so beautiful to witness and watch develop.
LOVING: The fact that I am able to recognise the hard work I am putting into self improvement and on fighting my mental health issues. I'm refusing to just accept things these days and am trying so hard to be a better person every day. I make mistakes all the time but I've never had this level of self awareness before. I'm really trying to tune into my values and live according to them, not in ways that I think other people want me to. It's hard, but it's worth it.
FEELING: SO much. Every single day I am overwhelmed by the depth of my own feelings. Being an empath is exhausting and rewarding. I have started journaling again which helps me not to feel so overwhelmed all the time. I have this constant sense of purpose that I am meant to be fulfilling but the reality of that purpose is just always out of reach, and tuning into myself enough to really figure it out is hard. I am feeling so grateful that I am making time for things I love on a regular basis. Reading, writing, playing the piano, going to the gym - it's things like that, that tend to get lost in our busy society. I am refusing to sacrifice these things anymore though, I deserve to do them, I deserve time to myself, I deserve to feel looked after by myself. I feel more mentally healthy than I have in years, and I know that means I need to distance myself from certain people and situations; and finally, I feel like I'm gaining the strength and perspective to honour that knowledge.
Happenings posts inspired by Heidi
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