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This Life

I feel like my last couple of blogs and Instagram posts have been justifications of sorts, for how I choose to live and raise my little boy - the most precious job.


I absolutely realise that there is no need to justify myself, as it is my life after all, and I am beyond blessed to live it in whatever way I see fit.  I do like to clarify and explain some of mine and Reid's choices however, as sharing our life in a somewhat public way through blogging and a public Instagram profile (to help with raising awareness around mental health and share my journey) can raise some questions.  I also I find it reassuring to know that if anyone in our life wants to understand things but not talk to us about it (insert eye roll here), they can feel free to read things here if they like (insert thumbs up here).


I have everything I have ever wanted.  Not many people can say that.  It hasn't been easy; Reid and I have worked really hard to get where we are, to have gotten married, to have built our own home, to nurture and provide for Isaac to the best of our ability, to be comfortable, to have money (we aren't rich by any stretch of the imagination but we are comfortable and able to save, and that's a dream for a lot of people), to do little trips here and there, go out for breakfast or dinner, basically live a lifestyle that we love.  Reid has his dream job, I have a flexible, local job that I do like, although long-term I would like to look into some different options, but for now it is perfect to suit our needs, both financial and logistical with Isaac.


I have never been bitten by the travel bug.  Travel, particularly international travel, makes me incredibly anxious. Weird? To most people, yes.  I completely understand the incredible benefits of travel and immersing yourself in other cultures, all the wonderful experiences it offers - it's just not for me right now, and that's OK. It's not that I don't want to see places or experience new things, it's that I know myself well enough to realise it will (based on experience) be more stressful than enjoyable. Maybe when Isaac is bigger I will change my mind, but I would absolutely need to go along with someone who is a seasoned traveller... my sister and brother-in-law perhaps? Just a hint guys, let's go on a trip or two in 5-10 years? :)


I don't know why it's often seen as "settling" to want to live the way I do. A quiet, routine-filled, peaceful life with Reid and Isaac, with most of my family close by and some beautiful friends.  A lot of my friends definitely DO have the travel bug and that is great.  We still talk and catch up when they are here and I am so happy for them to be living the way they want.


Also...


We will probably only have one child.


Big statement, I know. I will probably go more in-depth about this topic in another post, but let me just say that it is actually OK to only have/want one child.  To truly weigh up the pros and cons of something so personal, yet something that everyone wants to weigh in on, is a really big deal. 


I feel at peace with the way we are living.  I feel like our little family is grounded and loved and we have finally struck a great balance between work, learning and play.  Lots of play.  How it should be.


Isaac forces us to be present.  We live minute to minute.  Watching him grow and discover his world with confidence is the greatest gift.  I feel like there is so much to learn from him at this age - from any two year old really.  They do what they want (with appropriate parent-set boundaries of course), they don't hide their emotions, they run and jump and slide and don't worry about what their body looks like, they don't care what people think of them, they just want to have fun, learn new things and cuddle the people they love when they feel like it (best).


At 28 years old, there is still nothing I enjoy more than a day at home, (this would be a scenario without Isaac) watching movies/a great series, reading books, drinking copious amounts of coffee and tea, cooking (or ordering) some kind of delicious meal, having a bath, lighting candles and applying a good quality face mask.  With Isaac, which is our most common, beautiful reality - we love to go out for breakfast, play somewhere outside if the weather allows, watch Isaac play in his own little world for as long as he will allow it, have "family cuddles" where he wraps his little arms around both of our necks, play with numerous trucks and trains, occasional catch ups with family and friends, more coffee, always coffee and always lots of adorable toddler chat.  Current favourites "Mummy, what are you cooking in there?" (if he sees the oven on), "No TV now Mummy, it's quiet time!" (I lost my mind laughing when he said this after a long day at childcare and he knows he doesn't usually get to have any screen time after about 4pm to encourage him to wind down for bed) and the best thing is his current favourite game - pretending to fall over before exclaiming "help! I need an ambulance!" I then have to make a siren sound, pretend to "fix" him, then he takes a few more steps and repeats the process. Fun... :)


This life of mine is pretty great. I love it, and that's what matters. I'm not settling, I'm living.

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